"It's a Brain Thing"

Thank you all so much for your kind words and Birthday wishes that tried to indicate that I don't look 30...or 40 for that matter. :) I appreciate it.

I wanted to update you all on Veiyah as it is heavy on my heart for you to please get on the dirtiest ground you know~

Veiyah has always had one eye (her right) go in a little and we simply thought this was just a baby thing. My other girls always did this as they would look at their hands or toys etc. Well, I went to V's pediatrician for a check up a couple weeks ago and he was going over all of her procedures and what not. He said, "So she has "some eye diagnosis" in her right eye, correct?" and I said, ummm I always noticed that her one eye did go in a bit, but uhhhhhhhh....nobody has ever told me that she was actually diagnosed with something...?? So that was that.

So since this hospital visit, having severe dehydration and in the early stages of kidney failure, loose stools, vomiting, etc. (not saying this is what it's from...still assessing) We've noticed that BOTH eyes are now turning in toward each other. It is now constant. So, we went to her (already scheduled but Mom didn't know anything about it) ophthalmology appointment this morning. I slept till 9 and was going to take my girls to the pool at the hotel we finally got, but quickly had to change plans and get a cab to the hospital because I needed to be here for it. ~Happy Birthday tooooo meeeee.....~

No, honestly I don't care...my birthday is NOT that big of a deal to me...I've learned that as I get older that...life really ISN'T about me. Sadly, I didn't get a grip on this till WELL after my 20's and into my early 30's. ....Yes, that'd be this last weekend...

When we were down in Ophthalmology, the Dr said that her eyes are actually healthy and that this was not about her eyes. This had to do with her brain. He then asked if there were any times that I knew of that she could have lost oxygen to her brain and what not. I started crying. I didn't know how to react to yet another thing. My baby girl has been through hell and I don't even think she's back yet!

So, we go out to the waiting room to just wait for her charts to get done so I could take them back up. The receptionist and nurse come over and oooh and ahh at Veiyah. She is completely cross-eyed and all of the sudden starts FREAKING OUT!

She starts Yelling...not screaming like a baby but screaming like she just saw a ghost and she has no control over what she's doing. It wasn't a Veiyah cry. It was like she was in a trans and her body just forced these screams out of her. Then....it was just over. She stopped and just looked around and the nurses were like, awww look! She's MAD! She wants us to leave her alone! She wants her Mommy! I just looked at them and said, "No, this is not normal, that was not normal! My baby has never EVER done anything like that before".

I take her upstairs and my sister meets me up there to take my girls swimming. I was going to go with...until...she did it again. Sarah (sister) happened to walk in when I was explaining the whole thing to Jer over the phone. So when Veiyah pulled this episode again, she was there and witnessed it. She said she saw the same thing I did. It was like a trans. So, we both called it "seizure-ish". Is my baby having brain seizures?

Ophthalmology said this is a brain thing, so now we have to meet with the neurologist because her brain is making her eyes turn in and the only cure for her eyes to go back to normal would be eye surgery. Really? Another surgery?

What else, Lord? I still trust you. Why do I still trust you? I'm not sure, but I really really do. Thank you for giving me such trust.

I don't know much else to say right now. I am at a loss and am feeling scared, lots of fear and I know that there is no Fear in Jesus. So, I am really trying to focus on His awesome name, His word, Him.

Please pray everyone! She also continues to vomit and have loose stools.

Veiyah has come this far. I don't know what else she will have to go through in this little life of hers...I pray not much more. But what ever it is she does have to get through, I am praying that it is used to glorify our Almighty.


Had a hard Birthday this morning, but it got better. Jer got home and made me feel like his everything...as usual. He's so wonderful. I can't tell you how amazing he is. But he is SOOO amazing. ;)

Love you guys,
xoxo

Selah Funny for the Night:

Dad makes a funny to Mom
Mom reaches over and feels his soft face and says, you are so funny baby!
Selah says: "You guys are so into each other!!"


HAA what???


This was a few days ago, and V was quite happy. This is just one eye going in. Now they are both in. :(

Veiyah was admitted to the University yesterday, due to severe dehydration~

Welcome...Home??

That's what it feels like. As you all might know, my last post I asked you to please pray for Veiyah. She had been throwing up for 10 days, seemed to get better, and then plummeted. She had a TERRIBLE night Wednesday night and wasn't doing any better in the morning. Throwing up, dry heaving, diarrhea, and fever. We had tried our very best to keep her hydrated and on some days it seemed like it was working! Well yesterday I just knew. Her skin was more wrinkled like....grandma-ish. (Not you young hip and stylish and ever so soft and young skin Grandmas of course!...like 120 year olds or something.)... (saying 120 to cover my butt for any readers up to 119 in age here.)

So, Dr Devakar (sp) told me that they had stopped both of her diuretics (lasix and another) because she was in "Kidney Failure" yesterday. They couldn't even locate a vein to put an IV in because of how dehydrated she was. Now, let me remind you...(or just myself so that I don't feel any guilt) that V's home nurse was just at our house the previous day. She knew of V's symptoms of Vomiting and Diarrhea, but Veiyah was showing absolutely no signs of dehydration at that time. So within the next few hours is when her kidneys finally began to "fail". I put "fail" in quotes because I know that kidney failure is a scary label. If we didn't get her to the hospital it could have gotten really bad, but thankfully we caught it at a safer time. So yes, she was in kidney failure, as it is labeled, but you can be in heart failure and it (just) means is that your heart isn't functioning the way it should be. Aderah died of heart failure, tho..so that was more severe. This was not, necessarily a severe case of kidney failure.

They put her in "Isolation" from the nurses and any other kids around us just in case of any infectious bacteria. Basically, when the nurses come in, they have to wear gowns and masks. They were looking for a few different bacteria’s/infections... I think one was Roda Virus, and I will have to ask the nurses what the other ones were. So far, everything has come back....NEGATIVE! :) YAY

Last night, I left V here to get Jer from work and we then went and got the girls settled with family for the night. I got back around 7 and V was sound asleep and that in itself was a miracle from the last 10 days we'd had. She even looked better. Then I got pretty settled in and a friend from PICU that has been there since Christmas with her son, Alex, who is waiting for a heart, came to visit me! She saw my tweets about being here. :) She walked in and chatted and then left and came back and said "Hey, I'm staying at the Rossi (Hospital Hotel) and nobody is with me tonight, do you want to come and sleep there?"

Picture my face looking in one direction, and then in slow motion I look up at Shari to make sure I wasn't dreaming....are you seein' it?

What's that you say? You mean, to get a full nights sleep with no interruptions except waking myself up talking to my dream friends outloud and/or snoring...???

Nooo, you don't have to do that!!!

But SURE!

Ahhh, it was a bed. Yeah, I have a bed at home. ...I just haven't been intimate with it in a very long time. We have a "hello/goodbye" kinda relationship lately. So, thanks to Shari, (Thank you Shari!!) I slept all night. Now, I know I chatted her ear off before that, only because I had forgotten what it was like to talk in an adult voice or conversation. I know this because SHE turned out MY light. ;)

So I got to Veiyah's room around 9:45am and she was sleepin' and she looked back to her ole' self. She had been on fluids since 5pm the night before and just looked awesome. Now, we are not "out of the woods" yet...as they say. What's wrong with the woods? I like the woods. I think if I was asked to come up with a phrase that meant you were trying to get out of a terrible awful place, I wouldn't say woods. Maybe "Gym" or something....that makes more sense. So, we're not out of the gym yet, but we're getting there. That's one place I'd really NOT want to be.

Veiyah had only diarrhea today, she has been dry heaving, but IS keeping down some pedialyte. She slept a lot, which was SO good for her as I'm sure she's more tired that even I. Yikes! So, they are saying the EARLIEST we will be going home is Sunday, but ...probably not.

So, my friend Jenny is still here with her daughter sweet Blessing, and we've been able to hang out and talk, laugh, cry...and be simultaneously PMS together... guess you had to be there....or you probably shouldn't have. ;)

Jenny, another one of my angels while we're here this time 'round, offered me HER Rossi room tonight! She is staying in her daughters room as she is needin' some mama time. I am so blessed. It's time like these last 2 nights that I need to remember when I start feeling sorry for myself. I have a LOT to be thankful for.

OKAY! One more thing! MY "Baby" lost her first tooth! I know that Veiyah is my baby baby, but for a long time, Selah was my youngest and she's always been my baby. She informed me a few weeks ago that she had a loose tooth. She was TERRIFIED. We had to tell her funny jokes to make her WANT to lose her tooth. "When IIII was a kid..."

Here is our Silly Selah and her FIRST missing tooth! When my friend Jenny came down to say Hi earlier, Selah said "I'm proud of myself!" She has gotten so un-shy! Love it.




Here is Veiyah in her hospital bed with her puppy she got from Lala and Papa her last surgery. She has been keeping her hand on it and petting it, almost like it's a security type thing for her. SO sweet...





Can't post Selah and Veiyah and leave Madi out. She took this of herself on my phone and immediately uploaded it to my computer. Little computer geek, my baby girl...I heart her sooo much~




I'll keep you updated...better than these last few days...so sorry!





PS. Anyone else ever spend a major Bday in the hospital? I can't complain though, the twins were BORN on Jer's bday. That had to be just crazy. What a DAY!

Yup, you got it...I'm turning 40.


What?


30? oh sorry....I feel and most likely look at LEAST 40.

xoxo

URGENT PRAYER for Baby Stellan!!!

Jennifer, Stellan's Mom just updated her blog and this is what she said:


"V-Tach

Stellan just went into prolonged V-Tach. They're giving Lidocaine now to try to break him out.

Sweet Jesus, be near!!"




Please pray for this baby, that his heart will will convert to a normal beat and/or that God's will will be done. Please pray a peace over this family. Nobody should ever have to bury their child, but sadly we do everyday, please get on your knees with me!!!

Veiyah is still Sick...and Still praying for Stellan with this SVT!!

Hi everyone,

First of all, make sure your sound is on and listen to the first song on the player...it is on my heart for Stellan's family today.

I know we are all focusing on Stellan right now, and rightly so. I struggled with posting at all because I really want MckMama, Stellan, and the rest of the family to be the main focus in blog world today.

I just wanted to update you on Veiyah so that when you catch your breath from crying to Jesus for baby Stellan, if you could slip a lil' prayer in there for V. She still has this bug...she holds down food more often, but she still throws up at least 3-4 times a day and today has had 7 dirty diapers...I'm sure before the night ends we'll be on 8. The big "D". :( Poor baby.

Anyway, stressful over here as usual as I have 2 kids on Spring Break who don't really want to help with anything right now, just play...and again, rightly so. I let them out of their cages a lot this week. So, of course, V and I are together, side by side ALL day long. I get up to get her meds or milk and she's crying. Even if she WAS asleep, she'll wake the second I stand up. I don't know if we just finally need to take her in and admit her, or just wait it out.

We DO have an appointment on Thursday, so we're looking forward to this. It's at the University and maybe they can make a decision for us and give us a better idea of what may be going on. She SEEMS hydrated to me. Her fontanel (soft spot on head)is not sunken in, her lips are moist as well as her tongue, her skin is not "stretchy", etc. These are all things we are learning during this process. It's amazing what is NOT known out there. I promise you this, I WILL be called Dr. Ani one of these days. Probably a surgeon...heart surgeon of course. ;) Just kidding, but I'm telling you it's amazing the things we have learned in the last 8 months, since before the twins were born.

Okay, so I put this request out there because I know that you are all still Veiyah's (Dirty) knees. I know you are also Angie's Sundays, and I know you are (yes, I'm going to make something up) MckMamas MckWarriors. ;) I don't know if she ever had a name for all of you. I wasn't introduced to her blog till after Stellan was born and am still catching up on her pregnancy story...

Here are some pictures so you can smile in the midst of this, and remember...


...To Praise Him in this Storm.




Stellan:






This Mama has named all of her kids Mck-something! Their last name starts with MCK, and 3 of their kids names start with M, C, and K. Ironic? Dunno, but I love it. She is MckMama, her husband is Prince Charming and is referred to as "PC", then she has Big Mac, her oldest boy, McNugget, her 2nd boy, Small Fry, her sweet little girl, and of course Stellan is...McMuffin. We call him McMiracle tho. :) If you want to get her updates regularly, you can follow her on Twitter!





~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



And here's Veiyah, sleeping soundly...until Mom grabs the camera. Wakes up slowely but surely and just looks at me like....


Seriously?
















Don't let this last one and other sleeping pictures fool you...

Urgent! Dirty your Knees for another precious baby, Stellan~

I really have a heavy heart to pray for a baby boy named Stellan. He was diagnosed with SVT last summer while in his mother's womb. This is what we lost Aderah to. Veiyah also had/has SVT problems.

He was born HEALTHY! and hasn't had any episodes since. Last night he was taken by ambulance to a children's hospital and ended up with a heart rate of 300 beats per minute. Aderah's was at 320 on and off and then finally for 4 days straight which led her to heart failure. Please pray for this baby boy who was born almost exactly a month after Veiyah and Aderah. This is a painful memory for us, but pray that it will be a VICTORIOUS memory for this family.

"MckMama" has her own blog... She is an amazing woman of God. If you have time, get to know her and her precious family. Either way, I'm asking you to please Dirty your Knees for someone else's baby right now. Stellan.

My knees are getting REALLY dirty, Stellan!

And the 3 blessed commenters...?

To V's Awesome Knees,

So sorry I got this out so late. As you all know, I've had a sick baby girl this week. I'm happy to report that she has now gotten back on milk and just recently held down her first 30 cc's! :) She seems to be on the road to recovery! Thank you all so much for your prayers and support these last few days~ I couldn't do this without all of you.







UPDATE:

There were 49 valid entries (comments) for the Give Away!


Random.org chose numbers 22, 46, and 16! These were counted in order from Dirty Knees to Carepages. These numbers belong to...




#22 - Mommy (You can call me OM) said...
woo hoo! Pick me. Pick me.


#42 - dawn pozzi said...
My favorite song off the album was hard to choose, but I think it's "Our God". Tell your brother I think his songs are awesome. I don't know if i've ever posted here, but i've been following your story since before Aderah went to be with Jesus and I've prayed so many times for you and Jer and your girls. Congratulations on having your sweet baby home!



#16 - mholgate said...
What a great CD! And you know that I mean it because I'm married to a Worship Pastor so I'm picky. : )

I'd have to hear the complete version of all the other songs to make a really informed decision, but "Your Love" is a very powerful song.

Even if I don't win the contest, I might have to purchase a CD.

Have a great week!
-Melissa


------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Congratulations!! Please Email me at kargfamilyupdates@gmail.com to claim your CD and poster! Please remember to include your address and any other special instructions. :)

As for everyone else, Thank You so much for commenting and entering our first Give Away! It was so much fun and I enjoyed doing something that will bless others as much as this CD blesses me.

Remember to go get your own copy now, (Here!) cause you don't wanna miss out on this awesome music! :)

Update on Veiyah's Bug...

First of all, Thank you all for such a fast response and for all of the advice!

Well, last night I couldn't get a hold of anyone, so I finally called Peds ICU. I know that sounds extreme, but they know my Veiyah. EVERYONE up there knows her. So, I had the receptionist throw out names of people that were there and she said one name, Sarah, and I know that Sarah has taken care of V plenty of times.

With V's history, anything is an emergency. So, Sarah gave me 2 options, being that it was 1:30 am. First, bring her down to the U and into the ER. Then we can see what's going on and if she's dehydrated we'll put her on fluids etc. OTHERWISE, if you feel okay with waiting till 8 to go to clinic instead, it's your call. So, I decided to watch V through the night. I ended up NOT feeding her after her last throw up at midnight. I gave her 4am meds and she would just look at me and smile...but then fuss of course if I walked out. So I stayed with her for a long time. You could tell she was so restless and hungry. But what was I supposed to do? So, she finally fell asleep and stayed till 7am. Jer went to feed her through her NG and within the first 30 cc's she was throwing up again. Then she was STARVING, so I wanted to give her a little bit to calm her. Friends, she chugged that bottle. I wasn't thinking and got excited that she was eating so well....BAD MOMMY. So, she FINISHES the bottle and then within 3 minutes she's puking again. I'll take that hit. My fault. Ask Jer, he'll tell you that too. ...mmhmm...

Peds Cardiology called at 8am and asked us to get there at 9:30, they weren't messin' around after I told them about our night. So, we got the girls taken care of and got out of here and there by about 9:45. Heart babies do not equal Mom and Dad being on time for anything.

She was burning up when we got there, but her temp was only 99.3! What the heck? Anyway, her sats were 88!! And her heart rate was 117. Not bad at all. Well, by this time she was SO hungry again. So, we brought a bottle just in case. She was inconsolible so we tried it. Little by little this time. SHE HELD THIS BOTTLE DOWN till we got home! That was about an hour 1/2...so we were pretty happy about that.

Dr comes in and decides that he wants to admit Veiyah and put her on Pedialyte to get her hydrated. Not only was she dry from vomitting. She is also on lasix 4x a day @ .75 ml's. She's on ANOTHER diaretic as well, 2x a day @ 1 ml! So her soft spot on her head, which has a bigger word to it and a different meaning than I ever knew till I had Veiyah, is called her fontanel (sp). If it is too soft, "depressed", then it is a sign of dehydration. It has definitely been depressed for the last couple of days. They are thinking this is the GI bug, like a lot of you have suggested. (Thank you!) Actually all of your ideas were very right on. V has had a lot of gunk in her tummy and I would think it would upset her tummy as well. As for reflux, we are pretty sure she is not having this problem, as it's only been 1-2 days. This isn't a normal thing for her... Thanks for all of your suggestions!

So, then he gave us another option after I asked him if he was JUST going to admit her to give her pedialyte. He said yes but that if she throws that up, that they'd start an IV to get her hydrated. So he said we could go home and try the pedialyte. Only draw back to that is, if she continues on the path she's on, we'll be back in the hospital tomorrow no matter what. So, we are praying that we can get her hydrated and keeping this pedialyte down. We are also stopping her lasix for the rest of the day.

Thank you all so much for your concern for V. So sorry it took me a while to get back to you. I was at the hospital all morning and then came home and had to console her....while I blogged so I didn't keep everyone wondering/worrying.

We need some dirty knees once again and I'm sure plenty more times. Veiyah will always be a little girl that will need our daily prayers. Thank you so much for being one of her knees!! She is such a blessed baby girl and she doesn't even know it! :) Maybe she does~ ;)

She is just not herself. She's fussy and then she'll lay there like she's so worn out. She still smiles at us though. :) I love it. She amazes me.

While you are dirtying your knees, please also dirty them for all the other babies out there that are going through such rough times. I have buttons on my blog that show different kids/babies that are in need of our prayers. Abby who is battling cancer, Kayleigh who was born weighing 1lb last June and is STILL in the NICU, and then other kids that don't have buttons. Alex is waiting for a heart at the University right now. He was recently taken off of the list because he was diagnosed with RSV. This is devastating as a Mom as it just means it will be longer for Alex to go home and be healthy. Please pray for peace for Alex's Mom and Dad and brother. Please pray for Alex with his RSV, his name to get back on that list, and for a heart to be supplied. Also pray for the family that will one day be donating that heart. It's such a hard thing to wait for a heart, because you are waiting for someone else to lose their baby. What a hard thing to even accept! Also, a sweet little girl named Blessing is at the U as well right now and still recovering from surgery. She was adopted from Liberia about a year ago I believe and she drank Lye and has had multiple surgeries on her esophagus. Read their AMAZING story for more info and how to pray for them. Jenny and Brad adopted 7 kids from Liberia and have 6 biological children, all under the age of 13. Wow. Now, no judgement please. Go get to know them, you'll be amazed. They amaze us everyday. We first met them at church, and now we share...well...the University. hehe We now have this in common. The only difference? I didn't choose for V to have to be there. They CHOSE these babies that had difficulties to bring them here to have a chance at LIFE! Absolutely Awesome! :) By the way, Jenny, if you are reading this, you need a new family pic! Your recent 3 aren't in that picture! (HINT HINT!) :)

Hope you all know that you will be receiving that "I AM that Miracle" onesies from me! Because your babies WILL be those miracles. :)

Sorry for such a long post. I got carried away thinking of all the other children out there. Love you all so much! xoxo

ps. If it's not too much, could you pray for rest for ME? I am up all night and day lately. I am really starting to feel it. I need to be able to be a Mom to my other kids, i.e. making dinner, bathing, keeping up the house, etc. Thanks so much!

Not sure what to do...

So, Veiyah woke up this morning with a temp of 101.8 under her arm. So, add another for being under her arm and I guess we'd have to put it at 102.8. I called my home nurse, because she was coming soon anyway. She rushed over and by the time she got here, Veiyah had broken her fever. Since then, off and on she will go up to 99's or so.

So, Kristen, our home nurse, was here and veiyah threw up, and also had high respirs. Meaning she was breathing too many breaths in one minute. So she was working hard. Her sats were fine, heart rate fine too. This concerned Kristen enough to call our Pediatrician to see if he wanted to see Veiyah. He did. Right away. Jer came home from work to go with me and we headed over to Dr. Rick's. He's a FAB Dr. by the way.

Dr Rick said that her exam was fine. So they drew blood, and then sent us down to the hospital for a chest X-ray. Okay, the X-ray experience is a whole other story and I'll tell you that some other time. It's not huge, but funny. Anyway, her blood work all came back fine and her chest Xray was ok, but the tech said she thought she saw signs of bronchitis. Dr. Rick wasn't convinced because she doesn't cough at all, so he called down to the U and they told him to just have us watch her for the next 48 hrs.


So, now, after EACH feeding today, Veiyah throws up. She hasn't had one full feeding. She does GREAT during the night, so I thought maybe it was just from being awake and breathing so fast that was making her puke. Well, I just fed her...it's 12am and she just puked again. She isn't holding anything down. So...what do I do?? I'm so baffled! Do we take her in? Do I call someone? Anyone have any advice? Any other heart mama's out there up? I would love to hear from you...

Thanks so much in advance for any help...Please pray for Veiyah! She is not feeling well at all. :(

xoxo

CD GIVEAWAY! :) Dirty Knees First Giveaway EVER!

So, I took Madi and Selah to my brothers church for his worship CD release this last Sunday. (Jer stayed with V) Ahhh, fresh air. It felt SO good to be out. Veiyah actually let me sleep a good 4 hrs Saturday night, so I was refreshed, showered and ready to go worship and be ministered to again! Let me just say that it was just what I needed. They sounded amazing and God was so present.

Okay, so everyone leave a comment! Tell me your favorite song off of the new album, by listening to his player on his site! (Click Launch Player) Or just plain tell me you wanna win! ;) This comes with a free poster and it is signed by my brother Dave in honor of V!



I will be counting comments from both my blogspot site AND my Carepages since there is a drastic number difference on the blogs. No double posting now! ;) I want to bless people, just like this music and my brother and sister-in-law and everyone else involved in this CD, have blessed me. Guess what? We were mentioned in the thank you's! :) Veiyah and Aderah were honored in it, and it made me bawl. I know you don't just put anyone in your thank you's...cuz the whole world expects their names on there. hehe Thank you Dave, we were SO blessed and honored to see our baby girls' names on there.

Here is the link to David's Website again and click on Launch Player to listen to this amazing music full of complete worship and ultimate surrender to Jesus. Have fun waiting for the announcement of 3 blessed winners!! :) I will have the winners chosen by random.org on Friday, the 20th.

You guys, I am so excited to say that there are some AWESOME things coming up here on Dirty Knees. Remember those onesies? "I was in the Pediatric ICU, I AM that Miracle"? People, let me tell you, I have been so blessed with people that are just as excited as I am to get these out and distributed to little babies in the PICU and NICU EVERYWHERE! Also, we have some Pray for V stuff coming too! I will stop talking about this now and save it for another post, but be on the alert! :) I'm so excited to share this with all of you.

Now get to commenting and be watching for 3, yes 3! blessed winners of David Lunsford's new worship album, "Love". If you don't mind passing the blessing onto someone else, and want to just buy your own, click here! :)

Whoever wins, their name or screen name will be announced and then they will email me to claim the CD.

Ready. Set. GO!! :) (Sorry, I'm having a little too much fun with this!)

Veiyah is Home! Featuring a Slide Show with Music from *David Lunsford* and New Blog Look!

*Update* If you can't see the video below, as I've had a few tell me, click on this link to see it on youtube!

Dirty Knees Slide Show


Hello V's Knees!

I sure hope you enjoy this slide show...it was kinda thrown together, but that's all I can do with this little girl keeping me busy. She is quite time consuming. :) That's okay though, I'm glad to oblige~ (I know what some of you are thinking...how did she even have time for this?) But she basically requires me to be sitting by her at all times...and if you really want to know, I couldn't walk this afternoon because my foot was THAT asleep...ask Madi, she'll laugh at me with you...;)) All that to say, yes, I had time to make a video...gotta love those questions~

This slide show is from beginning to end of Veiyah's most recent adventures. The songs are by my brother David and his wife Lisa. These songs share our hearts through these times, quite well.

I will be giving out CD's here in a few days as soon as I can figure out how to get a raffle going. (If you have any tips, let me know!) Until then, visit Dave's website to pre-order his new CD coming out on Sunday, March 5th! You can also click on "Launch Player" there and listen to more song samples!

You are all just awesome, and we're so thankful for each one of you. God is so good~

I know 10 minutes can seem like a long slideshow, but how do you sum up almost 2 months of the craziness we went through in under that amount of time? ;) Make sure you set aside some time to sit down and watch for 10 minutes so you don't get done and wonder what you were doing before you pressed play! ;)

And finally, if you noticed, and I'm sure you did...I have a new blog look! Thanks so much to Danielle for doing such an amazing job and keeping my heart in mind when she did each part. She stayed in such good contact with me through it all and was so faithful to get it up and done. She does an AMAZING job with these blogs and has a huge clientèle. Definitely check out her designs and hit her up for a new look! :) Thank you, Danielle! I love it, and it was so needed and such an answer to prayer.

Grab yourself a new button on the left sidebar to pray for Veiyah, and also a button to show that you are one of "V's Knees". We're honored to call you all that. :) xoxo

Showtime! (You can watch it in Full Screen by clicking the lower right hand button, 2nd to the last.)

Positive Testing ...

...Not always a "positive" result. Madi and I went in to the Dr today because it was obvious we had SOMETHING. We both got positive results for Strep Throat. Should that even be capitalized? ...It's not all that great, I wouldn't put it in the "capitalization" dictionary. ...errr

So, Jeremy started feeling the symptoms last night as well. Of course, just Madi and I go in and they won't give an antibiotic to our entire family. I told them WHY we need it, no matter what. Well, it wasn't my regular family Dr, he is out on Wednesdays. So, I made an appointment for Jeremy and Selah tomorrow to get swabbed. THEN I came home and called Veiyah's Dr's and they instantly called in a script for Jer and Selah.

Yah, that's right...We've got people. *Does the cool walk off and brushes shoulder*

So, we heard from Trudy this morning that Veiyah was very warm when they came in for rounds. She did NOT, however, have a temp. So they watched her closely for a temp today just in case. They think she is okay now, but want to err on the cautious side since she has been exposed to us.

Please pray for this sickness to be GONE from our household so that when we bring Veiyah home, hopefully *FRIDAY*! that she will come into a healthy home all Lysol’d and bleached out. ;) So Madi and I are quite sick. I especially am "hurtin' for certain". Yeah, Dad, I went there....I know, sad.

Thank you all for your posts, encouraging words and prayers regarding our health here at the Karg house. One day, it'd be quite nice to have a bit of normalcy in this home. Pray with me that THAT day will come soon.

I am excited for my next post, because it involves a fun little bloggy contest! :) My brother Dave's CD is being released on March 15th! I am so excited!! These songs of worship are a lot of what got me through my stay at the Hospital, Aderah's death, and Veiyah's hard first couple of weeks. They were only Demo's then. Now they have all (everyone involved in the CD) gone to Portland at different times to get the CD polished. It's amazing!!



I've had the privilege to hear a complete couple of songs. I am going to be sharing them here with you and also giving you the chance to win one for yourself, by at the SAME time be giving small proceeds to "Heart Friends", the foundation that we became a part of when Veiyah was born. :) More details to come soon....

Gives me something to do with these "empty arms". Sad about one thing but STOKED about another! Hope to be happy about lots of things in a couple more days!

Madi was just talking to me about when Selah won a David Crowder CD at a skating party they went to a couple weeks ago. I told Madi that I used to win CD's at skating parties too, but then gave them to my friends because my parents didn't allow non-Christian music in the house. Madi is aloud to listen to Disney music and once it passes Disney, it's going to get a lot stricter around here. But I told Madi that she's lucky because I didn't have "innocent" music that wasn't Christian back in my day. Here is what was said:

Mom said “we didn’t have Disney music back when I was a kid. Only M-I-C-K-E-Y –M-O-U-S-E.” Mickey Mouse (Donald Duck!) Mickey Mouse (Donald Duck!) ....(hopefully you are all singing along with me right now, remembering the days)

Madi said: “That’s disturbing.”

Mom coughs up a lung laughing…

Madi says: “Mother, don’t hurt yourself!”

Mom hurts herself...

DISCLAIMER:

We (Madi and I) had a discussion about me being able to post funny things that Madi says here on this blog. Madi said that every time I post something she says that’s funny, and you actually laugh, then "you have to pay her a dollar. PERIOD.”


Love you guys, stay healthy! Don't go walking around any hospitals unless you absolutely have to. I wouldn't encourage it anyway. Plus it'd be kinda weird if you did.

Love,
Ani

Veiyah's Homecoming...Delayed :(

Hi Everyone! I'm so sorry to inform you that Veiyah is still in the hospital. It is not bad for her though; it's actually better for her to be there. Madi and I have gotten sick and we think it's what Selah had a week ago. Once Madi gets coughing though, she doesn't stop. Well, I am starting to feel stuff in my chest and throat as well. We were at the hospital for almost a month straight. The girls went to craft time with other kids, and well...we were in a hospital...and hospitals are for SICK people. So, like Trudy said, it is a catch 22 there. You go there to get well, but you are there because you are sick. Not that we caught this from a patient, but there are so many people wandering those halls.

My wonderful amazing family came over on Sunday and de-trashed my house!! They bought us Veiyah's crib and set it up for us, because we wanted her to come home to a HOME this time. Not a place that has been our In-N-Out for the last 6 months. It looks beautiful in here. Needless to say, we are now home. We decided that the only way we are going to start to get better is to be at home and get back into our own routine. I'm PRAYING this is the case. It is QUITE hard seeing this empty crib. I haven't seen Veiyah for 2 days now and I'm going crazy.

I did cry last night. Selah came in to tell me that she was sad because she didn't want to get ready for bed. I know I should watch what I say to my kids about MY feelings, but it just poured out.

"I'm sad too."
"Why?"
"Because I have 4 daughters and 2 of them can't be here right now."
"Oh Mama, that makes me sad too, I want all of us here."

Selah is my sensitive spirit. She will bring me my book called "Mommy Please Don't Cry" and ask me to read it. It's all about Aderah telling me to please not cry, because she's with Jesus. Every time I turn the page, she wants to say the first line. She has such a soft sweet voice and she says "Mama" instead. So I read, flip the page and Selah says with a crack in her soft voice, "Mama please don't cry...".

I do cry. And I still know she's with Jesus. I celebrate that. But I still cry.

We've been focusing so much on Veiyah lately, rightly so. Last night, seeing her crib all set up just waiting for her little warm body to fill it, I was relieved that we had JUST put it up. I was relieved that I am such a procrastinator. Now, the crib was not necessarily procrastinated. My family bought it and we just waited for it to be in stores. I'm talking about before that. Lots of Mom's like to have a nursery awaiting their little ones. I honestly wanted to go out and get 2 of everything! 2 NEW of everything. Because it was a NEW thing! I was having 2 babies!! But I AM a procrastinator. I have dreams beyond what one mind might be able to imagine, but for the most part, they stay just that....dreams.

Do you see why I was relieved though? God gives us characteristics that may not be greatly used at all times. He also knows everything. He knows I procrastinate, so it was okay that I did. I honestly couldn't imagine coming home to 2 cribs, 2 car seats, 2 many diapers...;) and well, 1 empty everything.

I now have that empty crib and the only thing that is keeping it empty is the sickness in my home. Could you, all of V's Knees, once again, get your knees all dirty and pray for health in our family and in our home? This is what will bring Vay home. We miss her so, and it's just not whole here without her. It isn't whole here without Aderah either, but that void is filled with Jesus and His amazing grace.

We plan to go design Aderah's tombstone this Spring. I haven't been to visit "her" since November. I know how that sounds. I believe you all know, though, where our hearts are. Veiyah has needed our full attention and we have tried our very best to give it to her. I can't wait for the day that she will go with us to visit Aderah's bed in the ground. Moreso, that she will understand who she is visiting and knowing that only her body lies there, that her soul is with Jesus and can't wait to meet her very best friend, playmate, sister one day soon.

I would take pictures of V's room but I left the camera with her. I need to tell the nurses to take pictures whenever they think we need to see something. ;) Something that is really cool though, is that my newest sis-in-law, Ashley, got me a big letter V to hang in V's room in December. Who knew we'd be calling her V? :)

So perfect.

Yep, He is.


Love,
Ani

PS. I just read this to Madi and her reply was... "I think it needs more laughter."

She's so right. Well, that was it. It gave ME laughter, and hopefully a little to you as well. xoxo


Until you are home in our arms again, rest well lil' V~

A little somethin'....More soon to come, I PROMISE!!!

I am so very sorry I have not updated. I think I have slept for like the last 4 days straight. I will post a few pics here so you can see how all of your knees are making such progress for our lil' V. I have exciting things coming up. But the one most exciting thing is, we will most likely be going home Monday, March 2 or Tuesday March 3rd. :) What do you think of THAT?!

We have been so blessed with packages, and I want to make sure you all know that I have gotten the ones that YOU specifically sent. With the move from the PICU to the floor, things have been spread everywhere, but I plan to organize it all and thank each of you personally. Well, over the internet anyway. As personal as we can get that is. ;) To name a few.... Leslie and her care package, Thank you!!!!, Jennifer and your beautiful sign that is pink and brown that has a verse about Veiyah being formed in my womb that YOU took the time to make, thank you SO much, it's beautiful, We got another onsie that had an iron on logo of "I was in the Pediatric ICU I AM that Miracle!!, We got a beautiful card that was most likely made..it had a bird on it. :O) We got lots of e-cards sent up to our room, we got a big teddy bear for Veiyah to keep her Moobra company and for Mommy to hold when I get lonely. :) Why did I start naming things? I know I'm missing more...I should have waited to get it all organized. I wanted to let you know, though, those of you who have sent things, that we DID receive them and feel so blessed each time we see something waiting for us to open for our little Vay. You are all (well not all but a lot) strangers and have taken time out of your days to bless us. We also received a check in the mail from an old internet friend of mine, Tara and she told me I could go get my hair done with it! I SOOO did. ;) I needed it, and thank you Tara! I promise I will go back and organize this more and get all the names said and make sure I didn't leave anyone out. We are so blessed to have each and everyone of you as one of V's Knees.

How cool is that? You are taking responsibility of a baby you don't even know, and becoming her praying KNEES. I love it. We love you!!!

New blog soon to come. Just wanted to let you know we appreciate you all and haven't forgotten. We are so exhausted and will post more fun stories soon. THAT I promise you. I have a few up my sleeve. ;)

Here are some pics of our beauty. She is doing FANTASTIC. They are sending her home because they said ...why keep her here if when you look at her she doesn't look like she has any reason to BE here? Okay, that's enough for me. LET'S GO!!!

Let's just say this. i'm SOO done here. I want to be home. I want to be home for a loooong time. I know God is so good and that whatever is best for Veiyah, He will do, but I also know He is so good that He also looks after us. We need some rest. Our strength is weakening.

Enjoy our V, Vay, Veiyah! :)

*First time getting to hold her after all of the surgeries...



She was so peaceful, and still is! She SO needed this 2nd shunt...she's not as fussy, takes her bottles SO good..etc






IS she Precious or WHAT?







And finally...if you can read it. This was right before she left the picu...





We love you all so much. Thank you for your dirty knees. They are making Veiyah CLEAN! I can't wait to tell you about some exciting stuff we have planned!! We have been given so much and we are SO ready to give back. :) God bless you guys and keep Kneeling!!!

Love,
Ani